Decree Absolute

I met Paul in the autumn of 1999, we got engaged in February 2000 and we got married on the 14th April 2000.  We renewed our vows in April 2010.  we separated in September 2014 and on the 23rd June 2021 the decree absolute was signed and sealed under the judge's hammer.

When I opened the post today and saw the certificate staring back at me all I could feel was sadness. My heart has been buffered a lot this week and I'm sure there are people out there questioning how it's even possible that I remain a hopeful romantic, head in the clouds, always dreaming of finding true love.

Me, myself and I!

The truth is, just like Sweet said "Love is like Oxygen" I don't think I could have been a wedding photographer for the last 14 years if I wasn't a romantic old soul.  You have to believe in true love to observe so many weddings and one thing has stuck with me from shooting weddings in 2020, I only photographed 5 weddings in the middle of the pandemic last year and in each and everyone there was an absolute unending joy that the couple could get married.  They didn't care that only they could be there with a couple of witnesses.  They just wanted to be married, they wanted to start their married lives and they couldn't wait another minute longer because they loved each other so very much.

For those who are getting married now, finally, as the restrictions are ending, there's even more joy than there would have been originally, I suspect because if 2020 taught us anything it's how important the people that we love are.

In the 14 years, I was married, at least 10 of them were happy and I will never regret the choices I made.  I am thankful to Paul for so many things, for our beautiful daughters, for the adventures we had together and for those times when our love felt like a movie.  I could have been bitter about that and I was so very sad and angry but now as I move into the second season of my life, part 2 or the sequel, I only wish him well and that he finds his own happiness.

Now, it might have been a bit of a tough week for matters of my heart but I'm not despondent and I have no less hope in my heart that my person is out there and lets for a moment believe that we all have multiple people out there for us, it'd be weird to think there's only one in a world of 7 billion people.  The truth is, I don't think there is just one person for us but I do think we have a limited amount we'll really click with, the ones who can see into our souls, the ones we'll share those deep and meaningful connections with.

So onwards, I go, into that sequel, the one which I know has the potential to be better than part 1, for one thing, dating in your forties doesn't come with any of the constraints from your twenties. You're not looking for someone to marry or settle down with or have children (well not unless that's what you want).  Dating in your forties should be fun, it should be freeing, it should be full of adventures, holding hands, hugging whilst watching the sunset... It should not be codependent or mean overwhelming each other's lives, I truly believe that love in your 40's could be the best you've ever experienced, I don't know if I'm right having been single for so long but I hope it is with all of my heart and I hope that in 10 years time I am not sitting here writing about myself still being single because really, I think I have a lot to offer.  I know I'm not perfect but if someone takes a chance on me I could be a really positive little sparkly whirlwind in someone's life.

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