As many of you know, I have been single now for a very long time, pretty much, I've been a single lady since September 2014. Partly I was just so damaged that I didn't even dream of going near another human in the dating sense and when I did briefly try in 2016, I found, I was in no capable or emotional state to be able to deal with the basics a decent human relationship requires.
As time has gone on I've started to heal and last year I decided that I would give it a go, I started to go to the pub, I actually opened my eyes to what was out there and even smiled at a person or two but then covid happened and I, like the rest of the world retreated into our prisons of solitude.
One year on from that and I'm so done with being alone, it's made me really question if I can actually spend the rest of my life alone and the answer is, probably but I don't think it would be a lot of fun! If covid, social distancing and lockdowns have taught us anything it's that humans are not supposed to be alone in the world, we are social creatures and like dogs, we are pack animals, to not only thrive but simply survive we need other people, basic human contact and hugs, the comforting touch of another human is at this point, like winning a gold medal, imagine the serotonin release from hugging people when we all get out of this grim period of history.
For my birthday, Harriet (knowing my love of David Tennant) bought me half size cardboard cut out of The doctor himself and his purpose? To stand in my kitchen looking off into the distance to inspire me and to help manifest my very own lobster, yes, David Tennant is going to help me find my soulmate.
Now, let me explain further how the online dating landscape is currently. It does not matter which site you have joined, very few men are actually open to conversation, you need to know I am not a misandrist but without the promise of them getting some action and them actually having to hold conversations, most of them have just gone into hiding. For me though, dear reader, I blooming love it, it's like dating in the time of Jane Austen, no touching, long conversations and the lost art of letter writing, although that's more message writing and getting a sore finger from tap, tap, tapping on your phone keyboard.
People have said to me in the past that it will just happen when you least expect it, you cannot go looking for love but I don't think that's true, I left it up to chance and 6 years later, I'm still sitting in my cave like a hermit. I am not Hannah Hauxwell though, I am Mandy and although I'm not the biggest fan of people, I do love my friends, and I actually think I've always functioned at my best when I was happy and in love. I am a die-hard romantic, always have been, always will be, it's why I still cry when I photograph weddings. I don't think any amount of damage could stop me believing in true love, love is like oxygen after all.
So, will David Tennant help me find my soulmate? Well, who knows what will happen in the future but I feel like something magical could be just around the corner and I'm always hopeful. You can be sure if something does happen, I might not write about it all as that's a double-edged sword too but I guess eventually, I'd have an inability to not say something, I have, after all, written about my life for the last 16 years. So come on David Tennant, do your thing, stare into the distance and find me the love of my life, you have 12 months or you're going into the cupboard!!
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