Hello lovely world, I'm back and I hope I can start blogging more often again now that I've actually caught up to date with editing for the first time since summer. It's been a mad old year, it was quiet for so long and then completely crazy and with autumn being the gorgeous season it has been, work has been off the hook crazy which is good for me!
Yesterday I breathed a huge sigh of relief, no weddings or photo shoots to edit and this weekend I'm only working on Sunday as I have a rare Saturday off to go to London to do a photo walk with Three with Looby and Harriet. Harriet hasn't ever explored London before (she's in her mid 30's so I find this fact weird) but Looby and I have promised to take her to see some of the sights and more importantly to take her to the Christmas department in Harrods.
Things have been going amazingly lately with my own businesses and Inspire, since we became a social enterprise it's made people realise that we're not in this to buy big mansions whilst we watch others struggle, if anything, it's probably the other way around, we literally put everything in we can whilst taking very little, tomorrow we've got our first big video recording day and the Inspire gift guide full of locally sourced products produced by women from all over the north of England promises to be quite the event, looking at the box of currently wrapped gifts we've received makes me feel, festive, fuzzy and warm.
Something I've experienced this year which has stood out to me is that I've found people who have issues with me, this to me is so weird as I rarely have issues with anyone I literally live my life in a little bubble, I write about my life in the here and now keeping it as real as I can and giving a first person account of a single entrepreneurial parent who lives with bipolar and anxiety, I don't gloss over the bad parts but I feel pretty lucky that there are more good parts and yet this year I've found people who have judged me, people who have "beef" for no good reason and some that even wanted my actual downfall. Well I'm still here, I have virtual ear muffs on to drown out any haters and I'm eternally thankful to have a small circle of the most incredible friends who support me and love me for who I am.
I'm also lucky enough to have daughters who are total superheroes, just to give a for instance, I went out on Monday to a blogger event, it didn't start well as I had a migraine but I don't think I'd ever been to an event where I felt so uncomfortable and out of place, I should say it was nothing to do with the event and everything to do with me, I just can't do people or social situations, I'm incredibly awkward, I can't make small talk and when I left, along with every muscle in my neck being in spasm, I was an anxious mess. I got home, told Looby and she gave me a massive hug because she knows, she's just come to understand how it is, when I'm out with her or Abigail, I usually always feel safe and like I can conquer the world and if I do get anxious they hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay. Abigail is by far the most amazing girl for advice and for telling me off when I hate myself. Of course it's a two way thing and I provide them with everything I can give but isn't it a wonderful thing to have such an amazing relationship with your teenagers?
As we start our descent into the crazy season, Christmas is the closest thing to a bipolar manic state, anyone who has bipolar will understand what I mean, bipolar is like the over-excitement of Christmas combined with the sad regret of January all combined in one. My manic states can be compared to those dancing Christmas lights which get faster and faster, they start so pretty and twinkly and end up an utter mess of overstimulation. Be kind to your friends who have mental health issues at Christmas because without a doubt, it's the most challenging time of year from us, I make light of it, of course, because you have to laugh at yourself.
Well, I've rambled quite enough now, in truth I was going to write this at 1am when I couldn't sleep and a snoring beagle was so close to me she was almost lying on my cheek, I'll be back with another gift guide very soon and until then, enjoy that build up to the most wonderful time of the year.
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