Sunday morning, just after 8am and I'm sitting at my desk with my new Beurer SAD lamp faking the bright sunshine needed to make me feel like it's summer and all is good with my bodyclock. It arrived on Wednesday and I have to say that the thing is miraculous, for the first weekend in ages, I've just got up for work instead of thinking "I can't do it, I can't smile, I can't talk to people, I can't go out of my house". On the same day that my lamp arrived so did my super high dose vitamin D3 tablets recommended by my good friend Steve as well as my doctor, so I'm also taking 50,000iu a week.
When I eventually saw my GP, she asked me those questions "Have you thought about harming yourself?" I told her in truth that I had laid in my bed lacking the energy to even cry just wanting to be dead although I hadn't actually thought about killing myself, I also told her about being on a 12 week waiting list for CBT since January and suddenly I had call the next day inviting me to my first session a week on Monday.
At the same time I received a proposal to go on a travel assignment to Bluestone Wales tomorrow and accepted in less than 3 milliseconds and just as we'd done that I was offered an emergency review of Crepeaffaire, clearly the Gods were on my side, they knew I needed sunshine, a break from real life and a hefty amount of sugar, in just one day the universe answered all of my prayers.
That's not to say that it's been an easy week, my head has been all over the place and I snapped at Looby who being hormonal ended up in hysterics, we chatted the next day about anxiety and being kind to one another as well as the fact that sometimes even the least shouty people lose it. Thankfully I think she's forgiven me and I know that it was just a symptom of me having acute anxiety and being unwell at the moment.
Crepeaffaire was exactly what we needed on Wednesday, if you've not been before, it does what it says on the tin, delicious crepes done really well, we were already previous fans and though we tried the indulgent menu this time, I'll be honest and say they were just a little too sweet for me and I shall be going back to savoury the next time, if you have the sweetest tooth ever though you should really try the Reeses peanut butter, Looby loved the milkshakes and her crepe which I can't tell you what was in it as I wasn't allowed a taste, therefore I'll assume it must have been amazing.
On Friday we, with much excitement headed to the first day of the Christmas Continental Market which is on until mid December, it's based around monument and once that's finished it'll be replaced by stalls selling local crafts and foods in it's final weekend. Now don't get me wrong, I love the continental market but it just feels like there's too much food, Looby gave it 5/10 because although there's a lovely Christmas feel to it, for us, it needs to have more things you can actually purchase for Christmas, we're big fans of the German Christmas market in Edinburgh and if it could be a little more like that we'd be delighted. It'll be interesting to see how the second phase of Hadrian's Tipi and Winter Wonderland compares when that opens in a couple of weeks. When we did try Hadrian's Tipi I wasn't actually all that impressed, yes it's warm and yes, it's dog and child friendly but £3.85 for a pint of lemonade is actually scandalous, I'd hate to think how much they're charging for alcohol! For me, I also think you can't get away from the fact that it's been put up on a building site which is still full of rubble currently, I know in a couple of weeks this won't be the case but it's just not pretty or Christmassy as yet.
Tomorrow we leave for Wales, we have a 9.5 hour journey to get there but the middle of week looks about as relaxing as it can get and I'm looking forward to many, many Christmas themed activities too, I think it's really going to get us into a festive mood and I wouldn't be surprised if we end up putting up our Christmas tree shortly after we return. I'm really on the countdown now, for my health and happiness more than anything, I only have 12 sessions to fill for the rest of the year so once that's done I can breathe and start marketing for January which has already thankfully started filling. January is a tough month as a portrait photographer but if we get snow you can bet I will end up being busy and I'm always super thankful for that!
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