Here I am at my desk, I've just made it through 10 days without a day off and don't get me wrong, I love what I do but with each and every task I perform in my life, I give my whole heart, I may not get everything right all of the time but I do everything with love because that feels right to me. As you can probably deduce right now, I am shattered. I need a day off to just do nothing and catch up with myself, I want to watch the new season of House Of Cards, I want to literally do nothing, except...
I currently have several blog posts to write, 4 weddings to edit and around 10 or so photo shoots, I am no further forward than I was the last time I blogged. One thing though, I have glasses and can see and I couldn't be happier, life is pretty giant right now and I did see one of my carefully edited cat photos and thought to myself "jeez that's oversharp" well let's just say when I think images have been softer than I would like, it turns out they were perfectly fine, my eyes were just overstretched, the muscles were giving up and I could nearly be sure that I found them breathing a sigh of relief when I put my glasses on for the first time!
I've consoled myself that I've destroyed my eyesight with photography, it's worth it to do something I love so much, plus I'm not exactly a spring chicken and as you age your muscles start to wear out, "I'm so old" I cry with my fist shaking at the skies...
So, just lately I'm going to be the first to admit that my diet has been horrific, I mean, just like many of us I'm sure, Thursday aka the General Election was a day for binge comfort eating, I've tried to reassure myself that our beautiful country is going to be just fine but "eek" suffice to say that's a whole blog post on its own.
I have been sort of saved but it comes with a pretty large caveat, you see, a few weeks ago I was asked if I wanted to try Everdine, it's a subscription meals service, it's clean food, food which is good for you, wholesome, nourishing and pretty blooming tasty, prices start at £6.90 a meal and you can either buy an 8 meal subscription for £55 or 12 meals for £76, this seems a little expensive to me when I basically buy a week's groceries from Waitrose for around £90 and that feeds 3 or 4 of us and friends for dinner once a week. Oh and here comes that caveat, you see I don't have a microwave, call me some kind of lefty liberal neo-hippie but I really loathe microwaves and most of the Everdine selection is microwave only, even some of the meals I selected turned out to be partially microwave with just a couple of things you had to oven cook. I adapted the cooking and just did oven anyway and it was fine but as it's unlikely that I'm ever going to buy a microwave I don't think it's the plan for me. If however you love clean eating and you have a microwave and you only have to worry about feeding yourself then go for it, the meals were scrumptious, tasty and pretty low calorie too. The meals all come frozen and then you just microwave when you want to eat them, I chose a selection of Veggie and meaty meals and every single one was yummy so no complaints there but it's not something that is going to work for me.
So this week it's back to ordering online from Waitrose and trying to get healthier again, honestly I've had a week where my anxiety flared up and days where I felt lonely and not good enough and I'm sure it's been partially due to my crappy diet which has contained too much sugar and not enough happy healthy vitamins (barring the Everdine meals). Luckily my shopping list is set up and should take around 3.4 seconds to go from filling my basket to checking out!
So as we go into this new week I have to find a way of keeping my anxiety at bay, to try not to get stressed out but I also have to couple that with a huge amount of work and a still very hectic schedule, I need to be caught up soon as I'm flying to Madrid 2 weeks tomorrow and really, it's that which is keeping me sane, I would love it if I could edit my Scottish adventure photos first though so I'll make this plea now, if you know anyone, absolutely anyone who has a tardis handy, send them my way please, I could do with a few more hours in the day.
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