Overwhelm!

So, on Sunday I finally caught up to date with all of my outstanding blog posts for brands I've been working with, it's been ages since I've been in this position and I can't begin to tell you what a relief that is.  Just after I'd written my last article I became the most anxious I've been since I had a breakdown in January/February, the feeling of overwhelm and the knot that gathers in your solar plexus felt so hard I thought I would explode, as I sat at my desk and cried I posted to my Facebook friends what was going on, it's rare I reach out or get dramatic on Facebook but for once I just needed to let go and right in that moment, Facebook was the quickest, safest option.  And you know what?  Something wonderful happened?

My Facebook friends are a pretty amazing bunch, all open minded, accepting, caring, lovely people, it takes years to curate a collection of like minded people, we may not all share the same political affiliations but when it comes to purely caring, we're there, a great hive mind, a supportive coalition of the best kind of people.

To be honest, work, life, single parenting, perpetually juggling a million balls and trying to catch each one so it doesn't shatter is hard, and that's without throwing any kind of mental health situation into the picture!

Whilst I can't sort everything out, I have at least spoken to a couple of people who are going to help me with the marketing side of my business, Facebook you see, well they're my personal nemesis, just when I think I have my advertising sorted out with them, they change the goal posts, my successful strategy suddenly stopped working for no apparent reason but you know what?  It's time to get back on track.

I've run a pretty successful business for the last 10 years and I still intend to run one in 10 years from now, my quest to be a weekday digital nomad still stands, I want to travel the world nourishing my soul whilst still running a business which provides for my family and I, I will always photograph kids and their families because my first love is Mandy Charlton Photography and I will always write because I have to, I'm compelled to sit and let the words pour from my inner thoughts, whether of course people want to read that, well that's another thing entirely but I remember the first days of my blog over 11 and a half years ago I didn't care that only 4 or 5 people read my blog, it's quite by accident that over 30,000 ever read my blog in it's most active, salacious and juicy period last year, it's dropped a lot since then but I can still manage 20k on a good month and I guess you, the readers who've stayed with me are the ones who care about my story, not just the juicy dating parts, either that or it's just a random collection of people who accidentally end up here and stay for a while reading the crazy animal lady's scrambled thoughts.

Yesterday I decided was a brand new day, filled with thoughts of positivity, as I sat at my desk knowing that I'd said my affirmations to the universe before I'd even checked one email I decided that it was going to be a truly great Monday, and you know what?  It really was, I achieved so much, I relaxed a lot and gave big sighs of relief knowing that I've got this and everything is going to be okay because I have a team on my side, good people thinking positive thoughts always and I'll do the same for them in their times of need, in fact you know what, I already do, as the affirmation goes "I wish good fortune and happiness for everyone I meet". "I'm ready for my abundance, it really is my time"