The worst has happened people, I narrowly avoided a first date scenario last night, I mean, he's a really nice guy it would seem, a metrosexual bearded plumber, you don't get many of those but the thought of actually going on a real live date made me feel sick in the pit of my stomach, yes it might have been butterflies but it might have actually been sheer terror! I'm lucky that I had valid excuses as to why I couldn't go out last night, I was seeing girlfriends, I had too much work, teenage Looby arrived home unexpectedly and demanded that I come home immediately ("I don't like arriving home to an invisible mother" she said). I think the problem is that I'm absolutely winning at online dating, especially for my age but it all kind of falls apart after that, whilst you can do a little to help you hack the online dating world, when it comes down to it and you have to go on real dates, the fear of rejection is now so high that I think I just want to stay single for the rest of my life until I die and then become kitty food.
Dating, it's supposed to be fun, every column that I read tells me I should just enjoy it, meeting new people, it's interesting, you might make new friends, well yes this might be the case but lets not pretend that initially when you date you are basically marketing yourself and you know what I'm pretty bloody good at marketing and coming up with new and interesting ways to sell things but myself? I don't think I'm that great at selling myself to the opposite sex (ok, get your minds out of the gutter, you know what I mean) in fact, I think I have failed so many times that I just find it's almost easier to live vicariously through my friends and their dating adventures.
To be honest, when I've looked at the week ahead that I've got I'm not even sure I've got space to fit in a man, I'm a very busy lady and I love my jobs of which I seemingly currently have around 65 of them, what a shame that they haven't yet made me a millionaire, I bet they have trouble finding true love too, I mean, you'd have to get your head around the fact that mostly they're just seeking your money, there's a reason the rich old guys have young glamorous girlfriends!
You know what would be lovely I think and what would maybe work better for me, if I just sort of happened upon someone in the real world and they liked me and they courted me and so I felt I didn't have to go and market myself and all of the ways that I could enhance that other person's life! Maybe I should start hanging around the Lit and Phil or I wonder if lingering around the doors of my local gentleman's barbers, after all, Heaton is the centre of the bohemian north.
It's probable that I might just go on a date with the beardy man I've been talking to, he does seem awfully keen although I'm always wary of people who say things like "Hey beautiful" for one, I don't think I particularly view myself as that and for two, you haven't actually met me yet, you've seen my best photos and I'm good at that, I photographed myself in very flattering light, you might be utterly horrified when I arrive in real life.
One of my real life lovely friends who's joined my great online dating experiment has, I'm happy to report got himself a date early this week, did they meet on Tinder, well, erm, no actually, they already knew each other from our local pub, oh and our pub is full of bearded men and often they come up to pat Holly, and then they proceed to either completely ignore me or they tell me how they're so amazing with animals because their wife/girlfriend has a dog/animals. Yes I know, I'm getting on for 2.5 years of being single and you know what, I think I'm already a little jaded. Incidentally, one of the stories I read by a mathematician who hacked online dating, it took him until date number 89 before he found his soulmate, lets just take a moment to think about that, date number 89, I could be dead before I make it to date number 10 with my level of dating terror!!
They said it would be easy, like getting back on a horse, well I can tell you this, I do like horses but you couldn't pay me enough to get on one the first time, never mind get back on again!!
No comments
Post a Comment