Men, let's talk about you on online dating sites, I want to give you some tips about your dating profiles. The thing is, there are a few things I've noted on my trips around the internet dating sites, having a large bank of mostly single female friends and an interest in how these things work, I've seen a lot of profiles on varying dating sites from the more casual dating sites like Tinder right through to the more serious sites like Eharmony and Match Affinity (try that one, it's awesome).
I don't profess to be a dating expert and I'm not going to be setting myself up as some kind of relationship guru anytime soon but I am a photographer, writer and a woman looking for her soulmate the second time around so I think I'm qualified to write this and I hope that you'll find it helpful.
- Blurry photos are bad - seriously, guys, it's not that hard to take a good selfie, find a window with non-direct sunlight, maybe north facing at around 1.30pm in the afternoon, think nice things and smile, if you have a dodgy camera on your phone, get outdoors or let someone else take it, I've had clients over the years who've used my photography services to get great profile photos, this is your one chance to make an initial impression, don't make me swipe left because your photo is so blurry I can't even make out your facial features!
- Naked photos are the worst - There is no need to ever send a naked photo to someone before you've even so much as had a date, it's seriously bad form and I'll be honest, it's just going to get shown around in the pub and laughed at if you do it!
- Photos with your children are a no no, look, men, I know you have children and I can imagine you are a fabulous dad but Tinder isn't the place to share photos of your kids, seriously, it's bad form and it makes me disregard you immediately, I love kids but dating sites just aren't a great place to share their photos.
- Photos with your cute pets are great, now if on the other hand you have a cute puppy or kitty and you have a photo with them then it's probably going to make me want to find out more, pretty much all women like photos of cute men with their adorable pets, think kittens and puppies and you are going to have a plethora of messages from interested ladies.
- Smiling is awesome, pouting not so much, until I saw dating profiles I honestly believed that pouting was something done by teenagers and drunk people, I was pretty horrified that the menfolk of the UK thought that this was a good way to lure the ladies into their lives, just smile guys, a big open smile is a winner every day of the week!
- Funny wigs and glasses so I can't see your face, yes, what is it all about if your main profile photo is you dressed as Elvis and I can't even see your face, you may think this is mysterious and alluring but I can promise, it's not, I want to just see a great profile photo, it's not too much to ask is it?
- Nothing is written in your profile, okay so you've got the photos and you're cute but I'm not going to click on you if I can't find at least a little about you, you don't have to write Moby Dick (not a euphemism) just tell me a little about you and make it interesting, draw me in, it's not rocket science!
- Text Speak on your profile, I hate text speak, so much so that I don't even understand it so when I see it I want to get rid of it as soon as I possibly can, if you must use text speak, use it in texts to your mates, don't use it to find the next great love of your life!
- The words "If you want to know anything just ask" This is about as infuriating as it gets, again, you're telling me nothing and you're expecting that you are so amazing that I'm just going to message but it's like a nice box that doesn't tell you what's inside, would you want to go to the effort of finding out or would you rather it just gave a great description on the front that makes you want to open it quickly!
- Being disingenuous, okay so this one is tricky, I realise we're all selling ourselves on dating sites but I hate when people lie or they just make themselves out to be so much better than they are, honesty is the most important thing in life, love and relationships and so if you start out with lies and mistruths, well that's not going to lead to long lasting love now is it?
I'm sure I have 20 more tips inside me but these are a good start, I reckon if every man looking for love or dates took note of just these things they would have ladies queuing up and a plethora of messages off women wanting to get to know them better.
I really do want to have a world of love where everyone finds their soulmates, I still believe in true love after all. So men, go follow my tips and let me know if you have any luck, I'd love to hear your dating stories, I might even feature you on my blog as long as you don't mind. You can always get in touch with me at mandy@mandycharltonphotography.com
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