When do we begin again?

It's October tomorrow, the month of glorious leaf fall, bright happy colours and sometimes, just sometimes warm woollen mittens although I must admit that warm woollen mittens do not go well with camera holding so I mainly end up in pointless fingerless gloves which must have been designed by masochists, fingerless gloves have so much promise without any actual point, they're gloves but you still have (or at least in my case) blue numb fingers, yes it's no surprise then that winter isn't my most favourite season.

I've been on my own now, a forty something singleton for over a year and I must admit that although I love my sparkly happy life and I'm grateful for each and every friendship I do miss kisses, hugs and someone to cuddle into on a cold winters evening, I do of course have Holly the Beagle but she's entirely rubbish at political debate.

Last night whilst pondering this and conversing with one of my loveliest friends we mused that when we are old and grey we'll call each other every day just to make sure we haven't died and we aren't currently having our faces eaten off by our cats!

I definitely know now that I don't want to be on my own for the rest of my life and more increasingly of late I've been wondering just when do we begin again.  I have this wonderful friend who's marriage ended just a few months earlier than mine and last week came the news that she and her new beau are to live together, it's so amazing that she's found the happiness that she so deserves and all this whilst I haven't even had one meaningful conversation with another member of the opposite sex in all that time.

I'm a bouncer back, I don't like to be sad for too long, I won't let myself be sad for too long, it's not good or healthy but I can't help but have the occasional pang of loneliness, I watch way too many rom coms, one quick look at the list on Sky Movies is enough to tell me that, there are not many I haven't seen.  last night I watched Man Up, a Simon Pegg rom com about a couple who accidentally end up on a blind date together, well sort of, it's a bit more complicated than that but I really recommend it in fact I cried at the end as I always do because I realise every time that's what I want, I want movie love and for anyone who says that never happens in real life well I would have to disagree, I've had it before and I know that I can have it again, well barring the fact that I am somewhat older now, actually lets not say older, lets just say wiser and much more experienced!

I hope one day it will happen to me, I'm certainly not going to force anything, internet dating fills me with dread and fear so I am leaving it to fate and the universe and I know it'll organically happen, I just hope it's before I die a lonely death and have my face eaten by my cat!