You'll have to excuse the lateness of my post today, after 3 hours on the beach in sub zero temperatures on Saturday I came down with flu, still went to photo shoots yesterday because I hate letting people down but even I was too ill to do more photo shoots today so after taking Holly for a walk this morning I shan't be going anywhere anytime soon.
This week has a lot of important things going on in it, it's the final date for Christmas orders today, it's always quite an exciting day as the orders usually come in right up to the 10pm deadline, after this it's really all down hill into Christmas, on personal note I just need to make enough money to have the 2 weeks off without worry, since becoming a single parent life has definitely gotten harder in many respects, I just can't be away from the kids like I was previously, I feel every spare second I have I need to be at home with them rather than working, it's brilliant in one sense because I was definitely guilty of being a workaholic but I just wanted them to have everything I could provide, last night as I was sorting through my Christmas cupboard I apologised to Looby for the lack of Christmas presents this year would bring, "Don't worry mammy, Christmas is about the baby Jesus not presents" I'm not sure where I got that one from but she's amazing, Iain also said I shouldn't worry too much because he understands, I haven't actually had the conversation with Abigail yet! I could get cross and angry about it all and the position I've been forced to be in but what would be the point, who has time for bitterness, Christmas is a time for forgiveness after all, the girls are actually going to visit their grandparents on the day after boxing day and I'm not looking forward to the fact that Abigail and Looby are now going to dads on the night of Christmas day and won't be back home until the night of the 27th, I just hope I can get those books I want and then I can read myself through the lonely gap which is supposed to contain wall to wall family time.
It's funny, while writing this I'm watching The Wright Stuff and they're talking about how the marketing men shove big family time down our proverbial throats more at Christmas than at any other time of the year, we're constantly bombarded with messages and adverts about all those amazing big family meals we'll have, parties, constant social engagements, though the chances are that there will be days where I might not see another living breathing human, thank goodness then for Holly, she really is a blessing from God.
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