OMG sorry I haven't blogged till now, I have been having the worst time with my hormones, 2 weeks after surgery and all was running smoothly till yesterday lunchtime when I just lost it big time and have basically cried and shouted and screamed my way through the last 24 hours, I have put my hubby through hell yet again and have a guilt complex the size of Mexico, yes it's pretty big, the thing is though that Paul thought I would be fixed after the Hysterectomy but it's not working like that, I'm on a fairly strong doseage of HRT at the moment and it could well be that I'm actually taking too much of the stuff so I need to go to the doctors first thing on Tuesday and get this sorted out because I fear if I don't it's going to be the end of my marraige, Paul feels he's gone through so much since we met and who could blame him, he genuinely doesn't know how to help and he's not the best in an emotional sense, when I am happy all is well, when I get depressed, all hell generally breaks loose as he's still only holding onto his mental health with a thread and we're not getting a lot of support so he feels like he has to do everything, i am doing as much as possible to help, I put all the clothes away this morning and tidied the girls bedroom etc.
By lunchtime we decided to take our son out for lunch so we went to a country pub and although the food was not the best for some strange reason, the large glass of sparkling Rose was lovely, Paul kept to the diet coke but I really chilled with that glass of wine, now I just have to make it till the doctors opening on Tuesday without destroying my entire relationship. Wish me luck!!
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